YOU MIGHT BE A VETERINARIAN IF…

Surgery(cat OHE and declaw) 010No preaching this time, just a little insight into my weird world. You might be a veterinarian IF…

1) NOTHING IS OFF LIMITS DURING DINNER CONVERSATION

When I was in veterinary school, we spent countless hours in the anatomy lab dissecting and studying and soon became so desensitized that we would often eat in the lab. Cookies were brought in, massive amounts of pizza were consumed all while you were literally near buckets of preserved hearts.  After class and to this day, veterinary professionals will discuss abscesses, anal glands, surgery, diseases, and countless other disgusting things during dinner. During school, the overheard dinner conversations of our gathering of students would clear a room faster than a loose grizzly bear on amphetamines.

2) YOUR IDEA OF WHAT’S GROSS IS OUT OF WHACK

As veterinary professionals, we stick our fingers in places most people don’t want to think about. Smells get on our fingers even through gloves and we can often diagnose a disease with our noses upon entering a room. We can tell if the fluid in the cage is urine or vomit based on the smell. We have had nearly every body fluid on us and our clothes. We often fight over who gets to pop and drain the nasty cat abscess(because it’s like popping the world’s biggest zit!). However, no matter what I do in this job, there is nothing more disgusting than boogers on a kid. I can wipe up diarrhea and go right back to my sandwich but lose my cookies at runny noses!!

3) YOU USE VETERINARY TERMINOLOGY WHEN TALKING ABOUT HUMANS

I was recently elected as president of my Rotary club and had to give a short speech on the importance of the position and how I became interested in Rotary. One big push for Rotary International is the eradication of polio. Many members of Rotary have never known anyone afflicted with the devastating disease, but my Uncle Ron is an inspiration in my life who was stricken at a young age. It left his legs weak but he managed to do everything anyone else could. He even found and purchased a bike that could be peddled by his arms so that he could ride. While telling this story which was meant to be inspirational, instead of referring to his arms, I said he peddled with his “front legs.” I didn’t realize what I had said until the room erupted in unexpected laughter and became the unintended highlight of the speech.

As you may know(and you should as I brag about him non-stop), I have a 10-month-old son. When we started feeding him solids, I would keep referring to it as canned food instead of baby food in a jar. My wife finally had to remind me that he isn’t a dog. However, that doesn’t keep her from calling him “puppy” all the time.

As always, SEND ME IDEAS OF WHAT YOU WOULD LIKE TO READ ABOUT

Dr. Huffman

Advertisements